"The bouquet is reminiscent of connoisseur, with notes of hobo."

Tonight is the semi-annual "Wine Experience" at Blanchard's in Jamaica Plain (a more appropriate name would be the "Million Wine Tasting"). They have about 20 tables set up, one for each of their wine reps, and each rep has five or six wines that they distribute. You get to taste and savor them all, from smooth $8 malbecs you can take home (at a 20% discount no less) to $70 cabernets that you'll never get to taste again. You even get a booklet at the beginning that describes what you'll find at each table, with space for your own notes — which, after sampling several dozen reds, you'll need.

The funny thing is that, well... as much as it's a classy event, it's still a booze-soaked free-for-all. There are insufferable pretentious types roaming the store, casting judgment and hogging the tables, and there are wasted college kids that stagger out after hitting all 20 tables in 20 minutes. The last time we went, we tried to find a happy medium between the two, aiming to sound knowledgeable and sophisticated (not to mention sober) enough to pass for decent members of society. We pulled it off for awhile. It's fun — it's like acting! — but really, who are we kidding? I drink plenty of Trader Joe's Three Buck Chuck, and it tastes just marvelous to me. I just enjoy sampling lots of wine, and if I have to throw around some booze buzzwords to make it happen, so be it.